The Diagnosis

At the end of May when my mother was diagnosed with Cholangiocarcinoma life was altered forever. The doctor said her cancer was stage 4, incurable and her doctor’s prognosis was two years. While we were stunned and ultimately caught off guard foremost with the diagnosis and then a future cut short there was no question my mother would fight. Two days later my mother started chemotherapy, the liver cancer was fast moving and had already spread into her hip bones and was in her blood. Before I could comprehend the cancer diagnosis my mother began the fight for her life and unknown future.    

Week after week she went to chemotherapy and as the weeks turned into months and her hair fell out she was going through loss I couldn’t understand.  Her life would never be the same because she would never be able to stop treatment.  If she stopped treatment for too long the cancer would have a chance to grow and spread.  If she stopped treatment it meant she was giving up and ultimately the cancer would win the battle. 

As one goes through treatment you are put in a room with other cancer patients and you start to form friendships and bonds.  The people in the room know exactly what you are going through because like you they too have cancer and are facing an uncertain future.    

The more I went to my mother’s appointments the more I would realize that eventually I would stop seeing the same people and not because they were necessarily “cured” or in remission but because their future had been taken from them. I felt as though I was going to my mom’s appointments not only for her but I wanted to see how everyone else’s health was doing.  I wanted to see Karen knitting yet another sweater, and I wanted to know how Michael was feeling after his radiation treatments.

Karen had breast cancer that spread to her liver, the cancer was found in her leg and in her neck. Every week she looked weaker and every week her and her husband stayed positive and continued to fight.  The sweaters she knitted were as spunky and bright as she was.

Michael had liver cancer that spread to his esophagus and then to his brain. Even after months of chemotherapy and radiation to his esophagus and brain they found another tumor on his liver.  Michael and Gail became a part of our family we would email each other when we didn’t see one another in the doctor’s office or at treatments, we would set our appointments so that they would overlap one another just so we could see one another.