For some reason I had been feeling like I needed to thank the nurses that took such good care of my mother. I wanted them all to know how much their care was appreciated. Who knows what goes on in their heads? Many of the nurses had become like family, whenever my mom was in the hospital we shared personal stories about our families. We shared hugs and laughter, they were accommodating when family and friends piled into the hospital. We never felt like just another patient, we never felt unwelcome and I wanted them to know that long after the patient is gone the family doesn’t forget what they did.
Day after day I had wanted and needed to go there and see the nurses. Everyday something was like a neon sign in my brain constantly in my mind. I felt like until I went to the hospital my mind wouldn’t rest something or someone wouldn’t let me stop thinking about it.
I got to the hospital and walked the same route I walked every day for a week. As I got closer to the 4th floor and closer to the room I had last seen my mother in I got shakier and it started to get harder to move. I got to the nurses’ station and when I saw Nurse Ann tears started to run down my cheeks, I had been keeping them in but could no longer hide my loss. Ann came around the counter and hugged me and with tears in her eyes and surprise on her face we hugged, and I apologized. Then Nurse Sarah gave me a hug, we spoke for a few minutes and I had to go, I had to get off of the 4th floor.
In all honesty I didn’t think it would be that hard. The same hospital that my mother took her last breat my children took their first.
Finally when I got outside I could breath.
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