People say time heels but I say time doesn’t heal anything! When people die you have to learn how to live without them. You are forced to find a new normal; you have to learn what life is like without them. How can time heel anything when every day is a day without them? More time doesn’t change the fact that your loved one is missing out on everything.
I don’t foresee this first year without my mom being any less difficult than forever. This year is just the first time without her. First day of school for my daughter without Nana by her side, my sons first birthday, my birthdays, holidays, vacations every day conversations and traditions will never be the same.
I am forced to learn a new normal without her, keeping traditions alive without her, making memories that will never again include my mother. I feel the responsibility and think it is of the utmost importance of keeping my mother’s spirit alive and the memory of her going, not only for me but for my babies.
Every day I am learning about the new normal. I am learning how to heel through a new normal. I am honoring my mother by constantly keeping her in my day to day conversations. I dare to try things and make things that I would not have tried before.
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