Heavy conversation for a 5 year old

We were sitting at the dinner table the other night and my 5 year old daughter, Raigan says, “I want to die so that I can see Nana again.”

My heart sunk and I could feel myself start to choke, what do I say to that? 

Holding back tears I had to tell her that Nana wouldn’t want that, Nana would want her to be happy here living, playing and going to school.  I had to tell her that as she knows death is final and that she would have to leave everyone behind and that would make us very sad.  I told her to remember that Nana is never too far away and we always have our memories of Nana and she is always in our heart.  I had to explain that even though we can’t hear Nana talk back to us Nana is always listening.   

Through this whole process of watching my mother go through treatment and hospital stays I have been really honest with Raigan.  She knew that Nana was very sick she was at the hospital every day to see Nana during her last week but how do any of us prepare for death.  We know we are all going to die but trying to comprehend such a permanent outcome is so difficult. 

Since my mother died I have tried to make it as easy as possible to talk about Nana.  I don’t want Raigan to ever feel like we can’t talk about Nana, I never want her feel like talking about Nana is bad.  I am afraid that if we don’t talk about Nana Raigan will start to forget.